Fernando, R. (2021, February). Crucial conversations. In V. Jadav (Ed.), Jivan, News and views of Jesuits in India: Go, set the web on fire! (p.28).
Crucial Conversations
Freedom with responsibility is how the vow of obedience makes sense to me as a Jesuit, 16 years in the vocation and 3 years to the Priesthood. No matter what the responsibility rested on me thus far, while the aspect of inner freedom of the obedience I seek and enjoy the most, the responsibility part of it makes me accountable to my Superiors and, through them, to the universal Church at large, in all I say and do in my life-mission as a Jesuit priest. It is nevertheless this freedom with responsibility which for me makes the vow of obedience either our way or a limit of exercising my fullest self in freedom. Let me explain.
The Ignatian spirituality and formation right from my Novitiate have disciplined me to look to the Person of my superior not as a human being, subject to errors and miseries, but as the Christ who is supremely good, all-knowing, and faultless. Moreover, I should always be prepared and quick to do so when it is needed to seek out reasons to defend what the superior commands or is inclined towards, rather than reasoning out against to disapprove of it. This points towards the common Ignatian understanding that whatever the superior enjoins is the command of God and His holy will which should be executed blindly and without any inquiry, but with the force and promptitude of the will, eager to obey.
When trying to see that invisible God of my faith and His holy will in my Superior whom I daily see fully flesh and fully alive (or do not do so that often) in corridors and common places in my community; when the Superior has little or absolutely no time to listen to his subject; or even at the tiniest of the time found, the apprehension of the gravity, the depth, and the importance of the issue shared, the understanding of the emotions and the affects that the subject undergoes, the active listening and the personal empathy, etc. do not seem to evoke from the part of the superior; when the confidentiality is ruptured and/or related comments are passed at common forums in the community; when the workaholism of the Superior esteems little or no freedom of the subject whatsoever, rather it curtails the latter’s time for self, socialization, etc.; it is often in such instances that the crucial conversation had meaning and is felt very much a necessity in my vocation as a Jesuit. To see God and His holy will in such instances becomes not only an internal struggle against the image of God of my faith but also the obedience in executing the entrusted mission under such circumstances often making it more functional, limited, and heady rather than charitable, bountiful, and hearty.
